Protection
by Argyle.S
Summary: Baker demands Cat tell him Supergirl's secret identity. Cat's reaction is not at all what he expects.


Notes: Written for lostinlunar as part of the SuperCat Christmas in July 2019 Fic Exchange over on AO3

Prompt: Cat knows Kara is Supergirl, and handles President Baker coming for her identity. Either pre-relationship or established supercat

* * *

"Ms. Grant, the President is here to see you," Brenda said. Cat sighed and stared at the intercom for a moment. She'd been expecting this for weeks. Ever since Kara had shown up on her balcony crying and told Cat that Baker had kicked her out of the DEO. The rage she'd felt then hadn't dissipated even a little, but Cat had known that an entitled little shit like Baker wouldn't stop. Not with just firing Supergirl. He'd been denied something he wanted, and he was too self-absorbed to let that go.

Cat reached out and not the intercom button. "Thank you, Brenda. Send him in."

"Right away, Ms. Grant."

The door to her office opened, and Baker walked in, followed by a pair of Secret Service thugs. She was annoyed by their presence in a way that she hadn't been by Olivia's detail. Guilt by association, she supposed, but all she saw when she looked at them were a pair of schoolyard bullies in cheap suits.

"President Baker," Cat said, not bothering to stand up. "What can I do for you?"

"I need to talk to you about a matter of national security."

"Phil, I'm afraid you have the wrong office. The National Security Advisor is one floor down."

Baker gave one of those smug, condescending smiles he was famous for. The kind that had always made Cat want to punch him in the face. "This is a subject on which you are uniquely well-informed, Cat."

"I'm afraid you'll have to narrow the list a bit. I'm better-informed than the rest of your administration put together."

Baker let out a little laugh. "You mind if I sit down?"

"It's your house," Cat said, because the truth was, she did mind. She minded a very great deal. She just couldn't say so. Not because she was afraid of telling Baker where to shove it. She just needed to make sure the timing was right.

"It is, at that," Baker said. He sat down in one of the chairs in front of her desk.

"You're close to Supergirl, Cat."

"Of course I am. I named her, and I mentored her, and I helped her save the world."

"And I'm sure you were a huge help, but your girl has gone a bit off the reservation."

"Oh? Because last I heard, she was out there saving lives."

"More like interfering in a Federal investigation. Cat, I know you're fond of her, but Supergirl has become a bit of a public hazard. This administration values transparency, for the public good. We asked Supergirl to reveal her secret identity, and she refused. When she did, we dismissed her from public service, because we can't have someone who's unaccountable working for the government. Since then, she's been sticking her nose into places she doesn't belong. Since you know her so well, I'm coming to you to ask for help. We need to know Supergirl's identity, for the good of the nation. And for her own good as well."

"Yes, because telling all of her enemies who she is, so they can attack her, her civilian life, her friends, her family, and everyone she loves is definitely in Supergirl's best interests."

"Oh, please, Cat. Don't feed me that line. Cops go to work every day with their names pinned on their chests. FBI agents give out their names all the time. This is no different."

Cat rolled her eyes, because they both knew this was very, very different. Supergirl wasn't just a cop in a uniform. She was a symbol, and people would go to enormous lengths to tear down symbols. "Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you, Phil, but I honestly don't have any idea who Supergirl is. She never told me her real name. Not for lack of trying, believe me, but that girl can keep a secret."

"Oh, come on Cat. You don't really expect me to believe that you, of all people, never put it together?"

"One of my greatest failures as a journalist, I know."

Baker took a deep breath, like he was working up to something, and Cat braced herself for the inevitable threat. "Cat, you know who Supergirl is. I know you know. Now, I understand you're close to her. I understand that this must be difficult. It feels like if you tell me who she is, it will be a betrayal, and in your entire career, you never gave up a source. I get that. Which is why I'm going to give you forty-eight hours to reconsider. If you don't tell us what you know during that time, then I'm afraid I won't be the one asking the questions."

"I can't tell you what I don't know, Phil," Cat said.

"Well, I suppose we'll see, won't we?" Baker stood up and headed for the door. "Forty-eight hours, Cat."

Cat waited until the door closed, before she reached for the satellite phone hidden in her desk drawer.

* * *

"Do I have to go?" Carter asked as the car came to a stop outside the hanger.

"I'm afraid so, sweetheart," Cat said.

"But why?" Carter asked.

"I can't tell you," Cat said. "Carter, you know I never want to be away from you, but right now, you have to go to your father's."

"Is a supervillain after you again?" Carter asked.

"I wish it were that simple, sweetheart."

"How long is this for?" Carter asked.

"I don't know," Cat said, and that was what was making this so hard. Cat wasn't sure when she would see her son again, and in her darker moments, she wasn't sure *if* she would see her son again, which was turning this whole thing into a replay of the day she'd given up Adam. But the fact that she loved Carter so much was the reason she had to send him away. Cat was prepared to endure anything to protect Kara, but if Baker went after Carter, Cat knew she'd do anything to protect him. She also knew Kara would want her to. Sending Carter to his father took him off the board as leverage. Oh, Baker might still make a play for him, but Cat had that base covered as well.

"Do you have the watch?" Cat asked.

Carter lifted his arm, and pushed back the sleeve, showing a heavy watch around his wrist.

"You remember what I said."

"Only if I'm in danger. No other reason. No matter what."

Cat leaned over and kissed Carter on the temple. "Let's go."

The both got out of the car, and Cat immediately spotted Kara and Nia waiting by the private jet Cat had chartered to take Carter back to his father. She gave them both a smile as she took Carter's hand and led him over.

"Hey, buddy," Kara said as she hugged Carter. There was a time when she'd have had to bend down to do that, but Carter was the same height as Kara these days.

"Hey Kara," Carter said.

"Hey," Nia said.

"Hey, Nia. New haircut?" Carter asked.

"No. Just got it pinned. Kara taught me."

"It looks good," Carter said.

"Thanks."

"Carter," Cat said.

He turned around. "Is it time?"

Cat nodded and held out her arms. He stepped into them and hugged her tightly as she did her best to squeeze the life out of him.

"I love you," Cat said.

"I love you too," Carter said.

Cat let go, and stepped back, wondering of this was the last time she was over going to see her son again. She took that thought and pushed it down. This had to be done, and at this point, there was no other way.

"Nia, Carter, could you give Kara and I a second?"

"Of course," Nia said. "Come on, Carter. There's a Switch on the plane. I'll kick your butt at Smash Bros."

"You're on," Carter said as they headed for the jet. Cat watched until they disappeared inside, then turned to Kara.

"You don't have to do this, Cat," Kara said. "Just come with us."

"You know I can't."

"If he hurts you…"

"You won't do anything," Cat said. "Kara, Supergirl is bigger than me. You know that."

Kara closed her eyes, and tears rolled down her cheek. "I don't think I can do this without you. Not now. Not when I don't have Alex."

"You will," Cat said. "You will make it through this, Kara. You're strong, and you are talented, and you are astonishing."

Kara opened her eyes, smiling at Cat.

Cat reached up and took off the messenger bag she was carrying and passed it to Kara.

"Vicki will meet you at the airport in Gotham," Cat said.

Kara nodded. "Cat, I'm-"

"No," Cat said. "This is not your fault. You have nothing to be sorry for."

"But-"

Cat reached up and pressed a finger to Kara's lips.

"Never apologize for who you are," Cat said. "Now go. Take care of Carter. I'll see you soon."

* * *

Cat sat in the living room in her Georgetown apartment, nursing a glass of scotch and waiting. She wanted, more than anything to call Kara and talk to her, to hear the sound of Kara's voice, even if it was just about something simple, but she knew she couldn't. She had no doubt that Baker's goons were monitoring her phone, her computers, and her social media accounts, so all she could do was wait.

It was just past nine when the small burner phone in her lap chimed. Cat picked it up and looked at the lock screen and saw a twitter notification. She tapped it, and it pulled up the twitter app.

Vicki Vale VickiVale 05 Feb 2019

Just put a hell of a story to bed. Owe my best girl a martini for the tip. Look for the Herald tomorrow for something big.

Cat smiled and sat the phone aside.

Kara was safe. Carter was safe. Now she just had to burn down thirty years of her life to make sure it stayed that way.

* * *

Cat stepped into the White House Briefing room with a smile on her face that anyone who knew her would recognize as being dangerous. The moment she was in the room, dozens of reporters started shouting questions, all decorum lost. They were like sharks, whipped into a frenzy by the scent of blood in the water, which was exactly the mood she wanted for this. She stepped up onto the stage and took the podium and glared at the reporters. Almost immediately, the room fell silent, and Cat's smile got a little wider. She still had the gift of quieting a room with just a look.

"As you know, this morning the Gotham Herald published a story by Vicki Vale containing numerous allegations of wrongdoing spread out over the entire length of President Baker's political career. Those allegations include multiple affairs, misappropriation of campaign funds, bribery, corruption, sexual harassment, sexual assault, and general incompetence, among other things. President Baker categorically denies all allegations in the strongest terms possible. President Baker holds that there is not a single word of truth to anything in Ms. Vale's story.

"I, as the White House Press Secretary and as Ms. Vale's source for the story, on the other hand, am here to tell you that every word of what Ms. Vale wrote is one-hundred percent true. I would like to add that less than twenty-four hours ago, President Baker walked into my office, and threatened to have me subjected to enhanced interrogation unless I revealed certain information to him. I didn't have the information he was seeking, but I did take the precaution of sending my son back to stay with his father in National City, in order to put him out of President Baker's reach.

"Lastly, I quit."

The reporters in front of her went absolutely wild, but Cat just turned and left the briefing room without another word.

* * *

She almost made it. One thing Cat had always had going for her was a set of cast-iron ovaries. She got away with things no one else would ever have even considered on sheer, unmitigated gall, and she had just accused the President of the United States of blackmail on national television. She made it out of the White House, into a waiting car, across town, and on to the waiting private jet before the Secret Service caught up with her.

By that point, it didn't matter anyway. J'onn had been waiting in the car for her. When they led her into the interrogation room, she could have no more told them who Supergirl was than she could have told them how to build a spaceship.

* * *

Cat sat on the bunk in her cell, staring at the wall. She had no idea how long she'd been there. She hadn't seen the sun in months, and she knew that the length of the day night-cycle was being deliberately varied. The only routine she had was the interrogation sessions. One a day. Sometimes, she was sure it was an actual day. Sometimes longer. She was pretty sure they'd pushed it out to seventy-two hours once. The nights were always short. Two, three hours of darkness before the lights came back on. Sleep deprivation as a means to break down her will. And that was just the first on the enhanced interrogation greatest hits list that had been playing. Waterboarding. Walling. Hooding. Stress Positions. Dehydration. Food Deprivation.

It didn't matter. She couldn't tell them what they wanted. She had no idea who Supergirl was. Something that was strangely satisfying, though she couldn't remember why. She'd named the girl of course. Created the media frenzy that had established Supergirl as a superhero. They'd talked a few times. That first interview. The business with Livewire. After the Earthquake. When Supergirl threw her off the balcony, and two days later when she'd come and apologized. When Livewire and Siobhan had both gone all revengey. During Myriad. Before she'd left National City. During the Daxamite invasion. None of it had given her a clue as to Supergirl's identity. She was more likely to remember one of her assistants' names, and the only one she could remember was Siobhan. Hard to forget someone who tried to kill you. She couldn't even remember who came before Siobhan, or after. She vaguely remembered Eve Tessmacher. For some reason, remembering that name was important. Someone would be upset if she didn't remember it, but she couldn't quite place who.

It didn't matter. She was never going to leave this cell, so whoever it was would never get the chance to be disappointed in her.

The buzzer sounded, and Cat flinched, wondering what special brand of hell her keepers had for her today. She looked over at the door, expecting to see one of the interchangeable CIA drones in crew cuts walk through the door. Instead, a woman with auburn hair, wearing some sort of black armored suit stepped into the room. It took Cat a second to place her. One of the agents who'd worked with Supergirl during Myriad and the Daxamite invasion. Alex… something.

"Ms. Grant," the woman said.

Cat raised an eyebrow. She hadn't heard her name since she'd arrived at the prison. "Yes?"

"I'm not sure if you remember me, but I'm Alex Danvers, and I'm here to take you home."

* * *

Cat stepped out of the jet and looked around. It was nighttime in National City, but the hanger was well lit, and she spotted Carter immediately. She wanted to run to him, but she was still weak. She had to ease herself down the steps one at a time, with Alex right behind her, a steadying hand in case she started to slip or fall. She put her foot on the tarmac, and she could see Carter wanting to run to her, but the blonde woman with glasses and a ponytail standing next to him held him back, until Cat was a couple of steps away from the stairs. The blonde woman let Carter go, and he rushed across the space between them, wrapping his arms around her.

"You're home," Carter said. "I was so scared."

"I know," Cat said, wrapping her arms around him and squeezing him tightly.

For some reason she couldn't understand, she looked over Carter's shoulder at the blonde woman, who was standing there, crying, and for a moment, Cat could have sworn she remembered seeing the women standing on her balcony at CatCo with tears in her eyes. As she watched, Alex wrapped her arms around the blonde, who buried her face in Alex's shoulder.

"I love you," Carter said.

"I love you too," Cat said. "I've missed you so much."

Carter pulled away from her and gave her a watery smile.

"I missed you too," he said. "Come on. Let's get you home."

* * *

They rode in the back of a big, black, government-issue SUV. Carter sat with her the whole time, holding her hand while Alex drove, and the blonde sat in the front passenger seat. Something about the girl bothered Cat. She seemed familiar somehow, which was strange, because Cat knew she'd never met her. She was good with faces. Not so much with names, but she would remember that face.

She considered asking Carter who the girl was, but she decided against it. The fact that no one had introduced her seemed to have weight to it, even if she didn't understand why it mattered, or why she could hear the sounds of the girl crying from time to time during their trip, or why Carter kept looking at her like he wanted to hit her.

* * *

The blonde rode up with them in the elevator, and Cat noticed things about her. The way she kept herself between Cat and Carter and anyone else they might encounter. The way she stood like she was ready for an attack at any moment. The way she avoided looking at Cat or Carter.

It didn't make any sense.

The doors of the elevator opened, and there was another agent there. A short man with shoulder length hair that was swept back.

"Director, the area is secure," the agent said.

"Thank you, Agent Dox," Alex said.

"Nia is inside."

"Nia's here?" Cat asked.

"Yes," the agent said. "She wanted to accompany Director Da… She wanted to accompany the Director to retrieve you, but she's not affiliated with the DEO, and so lacked proper security clearance for the facility where you were being held."

"Let's get you inside," Alex said.

Cat followed Alex and Agent Dox down the hall while the blonde brought up the rear, and for a moment, Cat wondered if the blonde was another agent. Something about that didn't seem right though. If she was an agent, why was she dressed differently? Why was she crying?

Alex pressed a key card to the reader, and the door to Cat's penthouse opened. Alex went inside, and Cat followed with Carter, and the blonde. Agent Dox took up a post outside the door.

Cat spotted Nia coming in from the direction of the kitchen.

"Hello, Ms. Grant," Nia said. She wrapped her arms carefully around Cat, and Cat returned the hug.

"It's good to see you."

"It's good to see you too. We've all missed you." Nia let go and stepped back. "Do you want anything to eat, or drink?"

"Not right now," Cat said. "I just want to sit down."

"Okay. I've got things set up in the living room."

* * *

'Things' was apparently a full-service buffet of all of Cat's favorite high-calorie foods and drinks. There was sushi, Chinese, the greasy pizza she'd never admit to loving from Rosa's, the cheese steaks from Vinny's, a whole strawberry cheesecake, a triple chocolate cake from the Nation's Bay diner. A gallon jug of orange juice, a half-gallon of cranberry grape. An ice bucket filled with M&M's. A dozen cupcakes from her favorite bakery, and even what she was sure would be a Big Belly Bacon Double Cheeseburger and a cobb salad.

"Who did all of this?" Cat asked as she sat down on the couch.

"Oh, it was…" Nia started to say, but she fell strangely silent, and Cat caught everyone in the room carefully not looking at the blonde by the door. Cat looked over at her and saw nothing but pain written on the woman's face, and again, she didn't understand, but she wasn't going to push. Not yet. But as she reached for the bag from Big Belly Burger, she was hit with the memory of the blonde woman holding out a Big Belly Burger bag to her with an expression that looked exactly like a puppy that had just brought back a stick in a game of fetch, and was waiting to be told how good she was.

* * *

Cat stepped out onto the balcony outside her penthouse and looked out over the city where she'd spent so much of her life and asked herself why she ever left this place. It had seemed so important at the time. So urgent. The need to get away, to escape something. She'd been unhappy and she couldn't remember why. She just remembered a feeling that she'd lost something. She felt the same way now, like something important was missing, but she couldn't remember what it was.

"You shouldn't be out here," a voice said.

Cat should have been startled or frightened, but she wasn't. She wasn't even surprised. She'd almost expected this. She turned, expecting to find Supergirl smiling at her, but instead, she found the mysterious blonde woman.

"Oh, it's you," she said. "I thought you'd left with everyone else."

"No," the woman said as she stood up. "Not until I'm sure you're safe."

"I'm in a secure building behind the best locks money can buy, surrounded by reinforced walls," Cat said. "I'm as safe as I'm going to get."

The blonde woman stepped up to the balcony rail and pointed at the north tower of the Waverly. "There are four spots on that roof that would make a good sniper perch and that have a clear line of sight to your balcony." The woman pointed at the Wyndham. "There are six balconies on that building that have a good line of sight to the penthouse and are within range of a shoulder fired missile." She pointed up. "There are four gaps in the city's radar coverage that are wide enough for a helicopter to get within missile range of this building." She turned to look at Cat. "And there are superpowered assassins who wouldn't need any of those security flaws to get to you."

"And you're going to stop all of that?" Cat asked.

The woman reached up and took off her glasses, and Cat could swear she'd seen her do that before. When the woman pulled the tie out of her hair a moment later, Cat sucked in a breath as she realized who the woman was.

"Supergirl," she whispered.

"I'm keeping a bit of a lower profile these days. Giving it a chance to sink in that I didn't murder a room full of Senators or attack the country at the head of a Kaznian army."

"What?" Cat asked.

"A lot happened while you were away, Ms. Grant," Supergirl said. "You'll be happy to know that President Baker is going to jail. I wish I could say it's for what he did to you, but the nation cares a bit more about collusion with Lex Luthor to stage a Kaznian attack on America using a clone of Supergirl."

"It sounds like I have missed a lot."

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" Cat asked.

"For what you went through. For the things they did to you for protecting me."

"It wasn't like I had a choice. I really have no idea who you are," Cat said.

"You're not angry that I didn't come forward?"

"No."

"I spent so long worried that you would hate me for leaving you there," Supergirl said.

"It wasn't the Ritz, but I've stayed in worse."

"Don't." Supergirl shook her head. "Don't do that."

"Do what?"

"Act like it's nothing." Supergirl turned away and leaned over the railing. "I looked for you. After you disappeared, I looked for you. I didn't sleep for weeks. I went to work. I went out as Supergirl and I saved people. But when it was over, I spent the night flying all over the country, checking every prison, every military base I could find. I had a friend hack the government and get me a list of black sites. I broke into every single one, looking for you. "I was so afraid you were dead, and it was my fault."

Cat watched the tears rolling down Supergirl's face again, and even knowing who she was, Cat barely understood it. "I didn't know you cared that much."

Supergirl turned towards her. "How could I…" She shook her head. "It doesn't matter. Not anymore."

"What does that mean?"

Supergirl looked out over the city. "I'll stay for a couple of days. Brainy is going to fit the building with a forcefield that will keep you safe. Once that's done, I'll get out of your way."

"Supergirl?"

"What?"

"Why do you care so much about what happens to me?"

Supergirl looked over at her, eyes red and puffy. "Because I love you."

"You love me?" Cat asked, because the words didn't make sense. She barely knew Supergirl. They'd spent a grand total of a handful of hours together spread out over four years. And last time they'd had a conversation, Supergirl had a boyfriend.

"It's stupid. It's so stupid. I just… I didn't even realize it until you were gone. I… know you don't feel the same way. I mean, why would you? I'm just… I'm nobody special."

"You are not nobody! You are smart and you're talented and you're astonishing and why do I feel like we've had this conversation before?"

Supergirl took a step towards her. "Because we have. Right before you told me I needed to put on my big girl pants and own my power."

"Well, that does sound like my advice, but I don't remember that conversation."

"No reason you should." Supergirl said.

"I think I should remember all of my conversations with you."

Supergirl sighed and shrugged off her coat. "Here. Put this on."

"I'm fine."

"Please, Cat. I swear it's not some Kryptonian wedding ceremony or anything. Your core temperature has dropped half a degree since you came out here, and your body is already stressed."

"Fine." Cat took the coat, and slid it on, more than a little surprised at the quality. "Jil Sander? Someone's day job must pay well."

"It was a gift."

"Supergirl is a sugar baby? Who knew?"

Supergirl laughed, and she reached up, tucking a strand of Cat's hair behind her ear, and Cat felt her breath hitch. Supergirl jerked her hand away.

"Sorry," she said.

"For what?"

"I just… I'm sorry. It's just hard to remember that…"

"Remember what?" Cat asked, starting to get a little frustrated. The girl wasn't telling her something, and she wanted to know what it was.

"It's hard to remember that you don't know who I am," Supergirl said.

"Then tell me," Cat said.

"It's not that simple," Supergirl said. "I'm sorry, Cat. My feelings are my problem. Not yours."

Cat reached up and straightened the collar of Supergirl's shirt. "So dramatic. I-"

Cat was cut off by the sound of the balcony door opening. She and Supergirl both turned towards the door.

"Kara have you… Oh," Carter said.

"Hey, buddy," Supergirl said. "Your mom and I were just talking."

"Um…"

"Carter, it's fine," Supergirl said. "You know I would never do anything that would put your mom at risk."

"Yeah. Cause four months in a CIA black site was probably perfectly safe," Carter snapped.

"Carter!" Cat said.

Carter just glared at Supergirl.

"Just give us a few minutes, okay?" Supergirl said.

"Not okay," Carter said.

"Carter, go inside," Cat said.

Carter looked like he wanted to argue, but after a moment of glaring at Supergirl, the fight seemed to go out of him. "Fine. I'll be in the kitchen when you're done, mom."

Carter went back into the house, closing the door behind him, and Cat turned to Supergirl.

"What just happened?" Cat asked.

"Carter hates me," Supergirl said, and she sounded so tired it broke Cat's heart. "He doesn't want me here."

"Why?"

"Because he blames me for what happened to you. Which is fair, because it's my fault."

"What was it he called you? Kara?"

"That's my name. Kara Zor-El."

Cat stared at her for a moment, turning the name over in her head. Kara Zor-el. Kara Zor-El. It sounded wrong somehow. "Kara," Cat said, surprised at how easily the name flowed off her tongue. How comfortable it was. "Kara Zor-El." Cat frowned, because that was definitely not right. Kara, she could believe. Kara fit the girl perfectly. It sounded like sunshine and kind smiles and gentle touches. Kara made her heart ache for something, and she didn't know what. But Zor-El was wrong. It was like a discordant note in the middle of a symphony. Kara.

"No, it's not," Cat said.

"What?" Kara asked.

"Your name isn't Kara Zor-El. Kara, yes. But not Zor-El."

Kara laughed and shook her head. "That is just like you. Insisting that something is wrong, just because you don't like it."

Cat slipped her hands into the pockets of her coat, and her right hand closed around a pair of glasses. She thought for a second about the glasses, about how the girl had looked earlier, crying behind those dowdy frames, the way she had the day Cat had told her she was leaving National City.

Cat froze, because she hadn't told Supergirl she was leaving. Supergirl had known when she showed up to say goodbye. But Cat had a clear memory of Kara sitting on the couch in her office, clutching a pillow and talking about how she didn't do well with change. Another memory followed, of hugging Kara, of never wanting to let go, but knowing she had to.

"What's your name?" Cat asked.

Kara sighed again. "I suppose it doesn't matter anymore. You'll figure it out soon enough anyway. You always do. I'm Kara Danvers."

The memories hit Cat in a rush. Screaming for her 10:15. A girl standing in front of her, claiming to be ordinary. The same girl handing her latte after latte, organizing her schedule, getting her everything she needed, taking care of her. The girl editing copy before it hit her desk. The girl fetching layouts. The girl standing on a balcony and taking her glasses off. Cat staring at her in wonder, as she realized what a precious, wonderful gift she'd been ignoring for so long. Watching that gift chase after James Olsen. Standing on the balcony, terrified as Kara hugged her, realizing how much she loved her, and how much she needed to give her up, before she did something that would ruin the girl's future in a moment of weakness. Promoting her. Telling her goodbye. Running away, again and again, until Baker had given her no choice but to stop running and throw herself on the fire to protect the woman she loved.

Sitting in the car, dying inside as J'onn walled off every memory Cat had of the existence of Kara Danvers.

"I remember," Cat said.

"What?" Kara asked."

"I remember." Cat looked into Kara's eyes. "I remember you."

"You do?" Kara asked.

Cat reached up, cradling Kara's cheek in her hand. "Do you really love me?"

Kara covered Cat's hand with her own and nodded. "I do."

Cat pulled Kara close and kissed her. She felt Kara's arms wrap around her, and Kara pulled her close, deepening the kiss. A voice told her she shouldn't do this, that she would destroy Kara, but she ignored it. She ignored everything but the ache in her chest, the need to have Kara in her arms, even as memory after memory came flooding back. Every moment they'd spent together, every second she'd wanted Kara and told herself that Kara would never want her. Every idle daydream she'd ever had of being able to love Kara the way she deserved. Every bit of it was wonderful, and it all paled in comparison to the reality of having Kara in her arms, kissing her. Cat wanted it to last forever, but she knew it couldn't.

"I love you," Kara whispered when the kiss was over.

"I love you too," Cat replied.

Kara kissed her again. When she pulled back, there were tears rolling down Kara's face, and for a second, Cat was back in the hanger the day they'd said goodbye.

Kara rested her forehead against Cat's. "I missed you so much."

"I'm here now."

"For how long?"

"I don't know. I left because I couldn't stand the thought of watching you be with someone else, and I knew we couldn't be together. Knowing you love me is only going to make it harder."

"Why can't we?"

"Why can't we be together?"

"Yes. Why can't we be together? I love you. You love me."

"Kara, it would destroy you," Cat said. "Your life, your career."

"I've been nominated for a Pulitzer, Cat. I think my career is safe."

"They'll say horrible things about you. Call you a midlife crisis. Say you slept your way to the top."

"I don't care. I can take it. Two weeks ago, the whole world thought I murdered an entire Senate sub-committee. I don't give a damn what they say if I can be with you."

"Kara…"

"Don't. Please, don't send me away. If you don't want me, I promise I'll never say another word about it, but please, just stay."

Cat stared into Kara's eyes, wondering whether she was trying to talk Kara, or herself out of this. Another memory came with the thought. Standing in her office, holding Kara in her arms as they both cried over Cat's impending departure. Wanting nothing more than to turn her head and press her lips to the skin of Kara's neck, to work her way up Kara's jaw until their lips met. She'd walked away then, because she believed that she would destroy Kara if she stayed. She wasn't sure that had changed, but she could hear it in Kara's voice, could tell that she would definitely destroy her if she left again. And if she was going to stay, if Kara really wanted to be with her, then maybe she needed to follow her own advice, to take the risk, to dive.

"This won't be easy."

"I know," Kara said. "Carter still hates me."

"I can fix that."

"Lex Luthor's still on the loose."

"We'll find him."

"Are you sure you really want this?" Cat asked.

"More than anything," Kara said. "When I didn't have you in my life, it felt like a part of me was missing. I thought I would go mad without you. Then you came back, and you left again, and it was like that piece of me was torn away, all over again. I don't think I could watch you walk out of my life a third time."

"Okay."

"Okay? Really?"

"Really."

Kara smiled as she reached up and cupped Cat's face in her hands, but cat could see tears welling up in her eyes. "Just promise me you won't ever leave me again. Not even to protect me. I don't care if it's true. Lie to me if you have to. Just promise me."

Cat smiled. "I promise." She pressed a kiss to Kara's lips. "I'll never leave you again."

She didn't know if the words were true or not, if she could keep such a grand promise, but like she did in so many things, Kara gave her hope.


End file.
